Josh - Me

2008-09-24T00:56:00.000-07:00

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.
A Few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate.
The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint.
A week passes and he receives another parcel and note: Dear Sir, sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.
The man is really Incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head.
So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:
Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick
your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.

A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher.
"Don't worry, ya ," he said. "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."
Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."

A young man was deciding on what to buy as a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday. After much consideration, he decided a
pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister bought herself a pair of panties. During the wrapping, the clerk accidentally mixed up the items. The sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties.
Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:
"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly dirty. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really good. I wish I was there
to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love, Jim."
"P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."

OOOOOOOOPS

2008-09-10T03:02:00.001-07:00

Things to Say When Caught Sleeping at Your Desk -

10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time
management course you sent me to!"

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here
just in time."

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and
envisioning a new business strategy."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related
stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to
handle that big accounting problem."

3. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put
your ear down real close?"

2. "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?!?"

AND THE NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your
desk........

1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus' name, Amen." (then sign of the cross)

2008-08-14T02:09:00.001-07:00

If only I could tell you what I wanted to say.

2008-08-12T06:42:00.001-07:00

This book combines a diary of a girl together with a sequel after the diary ends. No spoilers, read on.
Storyline: Valerie

Rebecca was an average girl at first

A boy called Joshua confessed his love towards her

as this was the first incident of this kind that had happened to her, she struggled a lot and was scared and unsure of what to do

Started to like Joshua but was still scared as this was her first relationship and was worried her parents might object since she was told many times not to have boy-girl relationships

Relationship develops

Mum suddenly passed away

Rebecca needed someone to console her and no one in her family could help as they were overwhelmed with grief too

Mrs Toh, her form teacher told the class and after knowing about it, her friends and Joshua consoled her

Joshua sent her a card and spent time with her, making her feel much better

Turning Point: Rebecca started to have the perception that boys/male company was better than her friends’ and started becoming boy-crazy and obsessed with love to escape her sorrow

Rebecca confesses her love to Joshua

In the following days, she starts talking about dates and obsesses with her relationship with Joshua by having long talks with him over the phone, writing letters to him and going on many dates

This affects her family time, relationships with friends and her studies

Rebecca also starts bragging to her friends about her relationship with Joshua, even though some of her friends do have boyfriends too. This makes them feel annoyed.

Rebecca felt that Joshua didn’t give her much attention so started to flirt and hang out with other boys because she yearns for attention

Rebecca thinks that there is no use hanging out with girls and so deserts her friends

Joshua, hurt, decided to dump her by writing her a letter showing his disappointment and sadness and also a poem. He is not really angry with her and only expects an apology. However, Rebecca misunderstands and think’s he is very horrible for just dumping her like that.

Rebecca is at first sad, then angry, and then desperate as she tries to find another such boyfriend to fill the empty space in her heart

Starts going overboard and flirting with many guys. In trying to show she is cool and has a great influence, she gossips and teases Kim, a fat girl in class. She also demands money from her Dad to buy clothes and make-up so she will look attractive when she goes out shopping or goes for dates.

Rebecca also starts skipping her tuition which she had regularly attended before

Rebecca moves on from single boys in class to her friends’ and classmates’ boyfriends

Her friends and classmates start to hate her now

Next, Rebecca focuses on the hottest guy in class which was Mark, Sherlyn’s boyfriend.

Mark is very much attracted to Rebecca and dumps Sherlyn for her.

Sherlyn is extremely angry and so she and her friends are mean to Rebecca and try to break Mark and Rebecca’s relationship up. HOW: creating misunderstandings, conflicts

After breaking up, all the boys left her when they found out she was boy-crazy, her friends deserted her, her family were not on good terms with her (siblings didn’t like her, father did not talk to her as he was angry over her skipping tuition and taking money from him)

Rebecca is at a total loss and starts having suicidal thoughts (thinks about her Mum and of joining her in heaven)

Rebecca also became reclusive and did not mix around with anybody

On the day she wants to commit suicide, no one else but the fat girl went to help her and console her. This made Rebecca feel guilty for treating the fat girl badly before, and she realised that the people around her mattered most and also realised she must stop being so bad.

Last post: On her birthday, she decides she is going to change for the better.

Character List

Rebecca Sim
Main character and author of diary entries
15 years old, studies in a co-ed school
Average physical appearance
At first: good character, kind, obedient
After: became boy-crazy, annoying, proud, arrogant, judgmental

Joshua
Rebecca’s first boyfriend
In same class as Rebecca
Reasonably good looks
Quiet, mature, sincere, caring, good in studies
Serious in relationship with Rebecca

Others
Father: Mr. Sim
Siblings: Anna and Daniel
Rebecca’s Friends: Lisa, Amanda, Xue Ming, Hannah
Sherlyn’s Friends: Charmaine, Jeraldyn, Yu Ting
Boys in class: Jonathon, Mark, Kevin, Guo Hui
Fat Girl: Kim
Teachers: Mrs. Toh (form teacher), Madam Rosanne (subject teacher)
Tuition Teachers: Mr. Goh, Miss Ng, Mrs Lim

Workload:

Valerie and Kay Yi

Edit OR delete some irrelevant posts
Do character list
Do story outline
Write our own advice to teens

Valerie
Research: poetry of famous poets
Writing of book
Include some short posts written by her friends and family members after her suicide

Kay Yi
Research: articles on how to deal with emotions and emotional stress and just plain stress
Research: articles by researchers on emotional stress
Research: pictures for the book and entry posts
Research: articles on the after-effects of suicides

Isaac
Completion of Website
Compiling of information

I'M SO GOING TO KILL YOU FOR WRITING THIS, JUNIOR !!

2008-08-07T07:58:00.001-07:00

THIS SKIN TOTALLY SUITS ME. ITS LIKE! CUSTOM MADE =)

2008-08-05T03:17:00.000-07:00

National Day Preview was really interesting. This post is written by Joshua ( simulated ). The experience of watching the shows put up by the various groups of the public, were relatively less effective than last years, in which the previous years performances were of much better standard than sleeping pills, never failing to put me to sleep after the eagerly anticipated 21 gun salute and the march past. This years Red Devils were really cool and the flying performances were equally entralling, managing to keep my neck at an awful 180 degrees trying to have a full view of those foolhardy parachute men who have faulty shoes in which red steam stem out from, polluting the environment. =) Just kidding. The F-16s pilots had probably taken a box or two of headache panadols, before they embarked on their sprialling and twising stunts to impress the audience, who as usual were twisting their necks at unhealthy angles of between 180 degrees to 270 degrees :D. The commentator was so entralling I felt like an F-16 pilot myself with him on board my plane, and that I would not hesitate in throwing that chatterbox off my plane so that he could find another job as a geographer, desribing beautiful mother earth from an appetising height of 1000m, before crashing down to reality and contributing to NTUC's latest brand of raspberry jam. Anyone for the Navy? A seemingly harmless barge ROARED into life at the end of the preview(simulated), firing pyrotechnic rounds into the air, like German 81mm mortars making a stand at Stalingrad against the Red Army, I was so fascinated I didn't know what to see, the beautiful fireworks popping up in the air, or the active barge who was acting like a spolit brat belching his breakfast,lunch and dinner of the past two weeks out at us. Overall, it was a really nice performance, but there was quite a number of screwups which were, obvious enough that even a half blind old man sitting 400m away could spot merrily and laugh about it. I saw a girl try unsucessfully to clamber like a bear on her male partner's back, before sliding down like a Kolar Bear on a bamboo stick. =) Poor thing. The stimulated arrivals of the Lee&Lee made the audience laugh, with two poor soldiers having to carry a signpost which represented the MPs. I bet they would never have the chance again to carry the whole of Singapore's parliment in one hand, later some PAP cadre sue them for indecent touching. But of course, the view was much nicer than at the National Stadium, with Singapore's magnificent INTEGRATED RESORT for our full consumption!! ( Under construction). Haha it I could imagine the beautiful hotels, the numerous tourists, and the moneygobbling Casino, but with a loud "CLASHBANG" I was jolted from cloud nine, to see a full array of construction vehicles and foreign talent from India and bangladesh, working to build a building in which people could go throw money at. haha I don't see the point of gambling. Those gamblers must be like me, fail math so they can't calculate odds. Want to lose money then give me, at least I MIGHT smile back when you give me $9456847564985746. Unlike the roulette table which would just give you more cards and numbers, with the robotic face of the casino machines enticing you with clinkclink of their metallic credits. =)

Okay, its time for the supernerd to go mug

2008-07-31T07:56:00.000-07:00

2008-07-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

I never thought you were ugly
Only the cutest in the world
Never accused you of being fat
You were my perfect girl

I can't forget what we had
It's something that can't be done.
Everything that we have been through
You have been the only one.

All those memories
And all those nights.
They all mean so much
It just felt so right.

We weren't meant to be this
Unhappy and apart.
We're meant to be together
As a whole, as one heart.

Those promises we made
We can still pursue.
By not doing anything
We got so much more to lose.

We were meant to be happy
And deeply in love.
Why did we go wrong?
Why wasn't it good enough?

I won't let us go
It's hard enough to try.
When I think about our past
I lay in bed and cry.

I want us back
Everything we used to be.
A life spent together
That was meant for you and me.

2008-07-22T06:06:00.000-07:00

A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students,
'Let me explain the problem science has with religion.' The atheist
professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new
students to stand.

'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'

'Yes sir,' the student says.

So you believe in God?'

'Absolutely.'

'Is God good?'

'Sure! God's good.'

'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'

'Yes.'

'Are you good or evil?'

'The Bible says I' m evil.'

The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible!' He considers for a moment.
'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can
cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?'

'Yes sir, I would.'

'So you're good...!'

'I wouldn't say that.'

'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could.
Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does
he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to
Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?'

The student remains silent.

'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a
glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?'

'Er...yes,' the student says.

'Is Satan good?'

The studen t doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.'

'Then where does Satan come from?'

The student falters. 'From God'

'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in
this world?'

'Yes, sir.'

'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?'

'Yes.'

'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created everything,
then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle
that our works define who we are, then God is evil.'

Again, the student has no answer. 'Is there sickness? Immorality?
Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?'

The student squirms on his feet. 'Yes.'

'So who created them?'

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question.
'Who created them?' There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks
away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized.<>
'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in Jesus
Christ, son?'

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. 'Yes, professor, I do.'

The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to
identify and observe the world around you.
Have you ever seen Jesus?'

'No sir. I've never seen Him.'

'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'

'No, sir, I have not.'

'Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus?
Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that
matter?'

'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'

Yet you still believe in him?'

'Yes.'

According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol,
science says your God doesn't exist.
What do you say to that, son?'

'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.'

'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem scien ce has
with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His
own.

'Professor, is there such thing as heat?'

'Yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.'

'And is there such a thing as cold?'

'Yes, son, there's cold too.'

'No sir, there isn't.'

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room
suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. 'You can have
lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white
heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We
can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any
further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be
able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees.'

'Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits
energy, and heat is what makes a bod y or matter have or transmit energy.
Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is
only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold.
Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the
opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding
like a hammer.

'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?'

'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is night if it isn't
darkness?'

'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of
something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing
light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called
darkness, isn't it?

That's the meaning we use to define the word.'

'In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness
darker, wouldn't you?'

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a
good semester.

'So what point are you making, young man?'

'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start
with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed? Can you
explain how?'

'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains. 'You
argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God.
You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can
measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought.'

'It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully
understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be
ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death
is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.'

'N ow tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a
monkey?'

'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes,
of course I do.'

'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where
the argument is going.

A very good semester, indeed.

'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot
even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching
your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has
subsided.

'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me
give you an example of what I mean.'

The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has
ever seen the professor's brain?'

The class breaks out i nto laughter.

'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the
professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to
have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable,
demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due
respect, sir.'

'So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?'

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face
unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I guess you'll
have to take them on faith.'

'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,'
the student continues.

'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?'

Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it
everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in
the multitude of crime and violenc e everywhere in the world. These
manifestations are nothing else but evil.'

To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does
not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God.

It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe
the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what
happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart.
It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that
comes when there is no light.'

The professor sat down.

I find it really meaningful. If only I was the student in the story =(

2008-07-18T21:46:00.000-07:00

10 Reasons why Nerds make better boyfriends

Searching for a boyfriend? Simple. Go to Bishan Lane 8 and pick your pick.
And why there, rather than Bukit Timah? Here are 10 reasons.

1. Nerds are all thin

Have you ever seen a nerd who was fat? yeah, there might be, but very very few. After all, someone who memorises his calories intake would not end up being fat. After all, thinking does burn fats too. You like thin skinny guys, take your pick.

2. Nerds are useful

In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a bf who can fix your laptop, calculator and almost anything which is plugged into the wall work. And when you complain with that loud whiny voice "my IE crasheddddd. how do you use Firefox!!!", a nerd would be able to regurgitate you a 99-page instruction manual in the blink of an eye, whilest the normal guy would be "HUH? fAirYforks? is that a relative of the chihuahua?"

3. Nerds are romantic

Yes, nerds are romantic. Their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pictures of you and sonnets, but hey, it lasts longer than flowers! Instead of having another day of card-swiping at a mall with that rich boyfriend of yours, why not be creative and unique in this capitalistic romance age!

4. Nerds come in all shapes and sizes

Due to their neglected status, there are a a plentiful of stocks to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty out there. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

5. Nerds are smart.

Who doesnt like to live a life of comfort? Nerds are smart and would probably become the CEO down the road or even a MP. Upset at ministers’ high pay? Why not be their wives? Then you wont be upset anymore!

6. Nerds are low-maintenance

Nerds do not need much. Cup noodles/McDonalds would more than suffice to fill them up completely. And they wont complain — because they like their food.

7. Nerds are not picky

They would love you just as much without your make-up or even in your messy hair. If you gain a few kgs, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.

8. Nerds are well mannered

Physics Olympiad Champion, President Scholar, so many of them out there. Most of them have "Manners for Dummies" imprinted in their minds, they could write a even better book. They treat you with utmost respect and like you for the way you are. And they dont smoke nor drink excessively. How can this be bad?

9. Nerds dont go “Yaw dawg whazzap!!”

They spell properly, use correct punctuation, improve your vocabulary with a few bombastic words and even if they spew profanities, you wouldnt understand it. Would you like to have a bf who goes "y00 hAo r u 2daE, mi feeLZZ veri siAnzzz lehx. Eye ms Yew worhxxx. Muackkks!"

10. Nerds treat you like a treasure

This is because of scarcity. Nerds have it hard when it comes to getting girlfriends so they treasure them a lot more. It’s like how affluent people can’t finish their food and toss them away but the starving in Africa will lick every grain up.

Isnt this enough to convince you to get a nerdy boyfriend now!

2008-07-15T06:41:00.000-07:00

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women's feet, and said in a rather stern voice, "Ginger!" The woman thought, "this is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "dammit Ginger!" Once again the woman smiled and thought, "yes!" A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip with a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "dammit Ginger, get away from her before she shits on you!"

A man went into a grocery store, got 3 cans of dog food, and walked up to the checkout counter.

The cashier asks the man, "Sir, do you own a dog?"

The man replies, "Yes I do."

The cashier then asks, "Do you have the dog with you?"

The man replies, "No, I left it at home."

The cashier then says, "I'm sorry, but I can't sell you this dog food unless I see your dog."

A few days later the man walks into the same store, gets 3 cans of cat food, and walks up to the checkout counter.

The same cashier asks, "Sir, do you own a cat?"

The man replies, "Yes I do."

The cashier then asks, "Do you have your cat with you?"

And the man replies, "No, I left it at home."

Then the cashier says, "I'm sorry, but I can't sell you this cat food unless I see your cat."

A few days later the man walks into the store, this time carrying a paper bag. He walks up to the same cashier, and asks him to put his hand into the bag.

The cashier says, "It feels warm, soft, and gooey."

The man then says, "Now, can I go back and get 3 rolls of toilet paper?"

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last dash effort, they took Tommy down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Tommy comes home with a very serious look on his face. He doesn't kiss his mother hello. Instead, he goes straight to his room and start studying. Books and papers are spread out all over the room and little Tommy is hard at work. His mother is amazed. She calls him down to dinner and she was shocked, the minute he is done he marches back to his room without a word and in no time he is back hitting the books as hard as before. This goes on for sometime, day after day while the mother tries to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Tommy brings home his report card. He quietly lays it on the table and goes up to his room and hits the books. With great trepidation, his mom looks at it and to her surprise, little Tommy got an A in math. She can no longer hold her curiosity. She goes to his room and says, Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?

Little Tommy looks at her and shakes his head.

Well, then, she replies, was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? What was it?

Little Tommy looks at her and says, Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around

2008-07-15T06:36:00.000-07:00

Once there lived a man who had a passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they had a lively reaction on him. Then one day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "she is such a sweet and gentle girl, she will never go for this kind of carrying on." So making the supreme sacrifice, he gave up baked beans. They were married shortly thereafter.

Months later, his car broke down on the way home from work, and he had to walk home. On the way home, he went into a small cafe and called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk home. After making the call, he smelled baked beans in the cafe. They were the best beans he had ever smelled! He could not resist and had three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home he had gas.

His wife seemed excited and somewhat agitated to see him, exclaiming,"darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight!"

She blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the dining room table. He seated himself. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him vow not to touch the blindfold until she returned. Seizing the opportunity of her absence, he shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not loud, but as ripe as rotten eggs. He took the napkin from his lap and fanned the air about him.

Things had just returned to normal when he felt another urge coming on. So he shifted his weight to the other leg and let go again. This was a prize winner. He figured that he must be done. But then he made a third fart. This one made the flowers at the table wilt! Yet somehow his wife didn't hear him.

While keeping his ear on the phone conversation in the hall, he again fanned vigorously until he heard the phone farewells, indicating the end of his freedom. He was the very picture of innocence when his wife returned.

Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked. He assured her that he had not.

At this point, she removed the blindfold and there was his surprise -- Twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party!

2008-07-12T02:30:00.000-07:00

A story from Mumbai

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole that he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you. I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers on your side of the path but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path. Every day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years, I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

2008-07-08T08:21:00.001-07:00

MY WISH

As each day passes by, I wonder how long will all of your passion and love for HCI lasts. I hope that it would be an inspiration to all of you to work hard for your Olevels. Be it the air conditioning, the size of our school, the camaraderie of us boys, the pungent odour of our classrooms, or simply the heartthrob you have in mind, that you all would die to study with. You all aren’t that different, you all aren’t stupid. PSLE is just a gauge on how well we did for that 1 week when we were twelve years old. I believe you all can do it =) and its just a mere 1.2 years to your olevels, the test which would ultimately bring you to HCJC for us to be reunited as classmates.
You all brought joy and fun to our dull lives for one whole week of seven days which flew past. But the experience, unlike time, never passes. That one week of exchange, I guess would be deeply engraved in each and everyone of us o1,o2 peeps.

2008-07-06T06:24:00.001-07:00

Last week was probably the fastest week in my life. I remember on day 1, almost coming to school late. I was happily talking to Yingsheng during flag raising, a stark contrast to my other classmates who were urm, trying to make out the facial expressions of the Cedarians. I never knew how fun the week ahead of me would turn out to be, how much joy the Cedarians would bring to Ortus. I thought it would be something like the exchange programme between Aphelion and St Nick's girls, where it was a pleasant exchange programme, but nothing much exceptional.

Day 1.

We returned to our classes for reading periods. Thanks to the girls, our air conditioners could be switched on before 8.40am. =) We were in the midst of absorbing the daily current affairs, when the girls came in. Most of us lost interest in the newspapers quite immediately, and took interest in the latest current affairs happening in hwa chong. For some, this was their first time in three years actually talking to girls, other than using the communications device of the 21 century, MSN messenger.

The moods of the teachers were also much better thanks to the Cedarians. Things that might have set them off like Mas Selamat with a bomb, instead brought smiles to their faces that made them look goofy >.< . We had double English lessons first, in which Mr Siew introduced the class to the rites of debating. Totally interesting! The rest of the day passed like a breeze. And urh apparently I made Jiarong ( at that time I didn't know her name, so we may address her as Ahlian no.1. JUST KIDDING )laugh a couple of times. Okay perhaps more than a couple of times. A couple dozen. Gahh no difference =). And I realised there were urm. 1,2,3,4 FIVE girls in our class. Fine my counting fails.
Played basketball after school with the other BOYS.

Day 2
The day started wet. Yeah it rained. So we were all camping in class COPYING homework. Mr Fong has a fondness for the math testbook and its exercises this term that he has generously dished out one exercise per day to us helpless students, who long for an A1, but finding it as hard as finding a pretty girl in _____________ (fill in the blank with the appropriate answer). The day started with double Chinese. Yeah I dread Chinese. I remember I went to China and the Chinese Saleswoman asked me whether I was Chinese. Hey I’m Chinese!! Although I look like I’m from Mumbai or Calcutta or New Jersey. >.< ( Chinese born there =) ) haha. I wonder who’ll buy that. Okay apparently some did. >.< >.< yeahyeah come I cook Bombay chicken for you all. Or is it duck? Chemistry Mock SPA was the last two periods, so I lent the girls some of the test tubes as me and Yingsheng had too many. Yeah and I remember some of them started on a rhetoric on how poor cedar is. Haha then jiayou work harder then we might be classmates again!
Haha. I think the rain stopped after school, so we played basketball with the girls. I can remember vividly that Andeline and Shermin were the most enthusiastic about it, and the others soon followed suit. Yeah Simin, Jia rong, Hoi yan, and sorry if I left out any others >.< . We played a full court match with me, Cedric, Weiquan O.o and Hoiyan and Jia rong against the others. It was really fun, but I think we could have passed more often to the girls who were much better goalscorers. Yeah for the bozos out there, the opponent team had a volleyballer and a netballer. >.< I sense a fair division of a team. Haha. We played for quite long before we tired ourselves out. Then came OOI games, we played carom and yeah it was fun too. Played basketball with Shermin for a while after that, before going home, attempting to finish homework. I mean, start on homework, but that attempt backfired, with me blog surfing and finding some cedarian blogs.
Day 3
The day started with Physics practical, with our class managing to be 10 minutes late. And oh this reminds me, I haven’t done my physics practical. In fact I haven’t found my practical file. >.< but its at home thats for sure! We then had assembly, with a wonderful speaker from some biochemical pest control company, with his statement of the year “ ALL FEMALES ARE BLOODSEEKERS BLOODSUCKERS”. Urh I think I have to seek asylum now like what Anwar did because I sense hostility coming from all the female readers of my blog =). Relax its just compared to Mosquitoes! ( I think I need social escorts now, HEY I MEAN PERSONAL BODYGUARDS ) Then that speaker proceeded to show us gory pictures out of some R-21 movie. Problem lies in that I think he took the pictures personally. Haha. MISTER Tan BB proceeded to give us a live example of 101 ways how NOT to conduct yourself like a man. OMG he was so cool, as in his voice was so deep and manly, so cool when I grow up I really really want to be like him. You know he even made the Cedar girls look as manly as urm. Mohammad Ali. Oh yes and its really fun teasing Emily the Cambodian/Laotian/Papua New Guinean/Nepalese! But she is really nice and I think if not for her niceness I would have gotten palm imprints on my cheeks. =) Jiarong is very nice too, and i reciprocated by allowing Aloysius a glimpse of her EZ-Link =) hahaha. >.< Oh yes Andeline is very nice too, cause I like people who shows interest in basketball, and yeah she did, and is furthermore netball VC. However as she was sitting beside the person with legs to die for, I didn’t talk much to her in class =).

Day 4
This is really really getting tiring for my fingers. I’m at 1016 words and at only Day 4! Well the most memorable thing of the day is playing bridge during chemistry. I think poor Mr Kong didn’t have a clue on what was going on , but I doubt he didn’t hear the “2 DIAMONDS” “ACE SPADES “ “ KING HEARTS” stemming from the classroom. And Aloysius was being totally himself walking around the classroom bugging people. We had a mini debate in class, and we were the opposition against MingYang’s group. I think it would have been a really interesting demolition of them if not for my arms, which were shaking harder than a 1000 year old bloodsucker. I mean! Woman >.<

Day 5
The last day. Went to school with the understanding that this enjoyable and wonderful week would soon be over. Lessons passed quickly, with CA being torturous as I was supposed to act retarded. I supposed I don’t really have to act that =) School ended, and we played a couple games of bridge. Yeah and we got owned flat by Simin and Emily the Cambodian. When the girls went for their buffet lunch at the canteen, I was led forcefully to meet Mr Siew, my project mentor. =) Then we went downstairs for lunch and basketball. Then at around 6pm, me jiegang, Andeline, Shermin, and Hoiyan went to play basketball. Yeah and everyone scored so yay. I hope I didn’t screw Andeline’s netball skills by making her play basketball. =) Later during netball she move with the ball I’ll laugh. Haha, we took a bus together to ang mo kio hub for dinner, and lots of chatting. Oh and we exchanged school badges so yeah I was wearing the badge of cedar. Cool. It was a really nice ending to what had been a totally fun and unbelievable exchange programme. I hope you all will end up in HCJC =). And! Please don’t cry. If not I’ll feel bad not buying kleenax as a present. And thanks for your notes and presents too, I feel really guilty not preparing any in return! But nevermind I’ll post an online tribute to you all one day =).

2008-06-29T09:15:00.001-07:00

Love is being next to you standing by your side
Sharing all my meals with you even if their fried
Love is sharing private jokes whispered in my ear
Being always happy at times when you're so near
Love is wanting you again in the mornings grace
Kiss your lips and your eyes ,held in my embrace
Love is being jealous when others have desire
And yet being sure who really stokes my fire
Love is a feeling that never does subside
This I carry for you smiling now with pride

=)

2008-06-22T07:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had fun at sentosa. Had basketball competitions, and the like. yeah including getting dunked into the water by some over enthusiastic people =). Yeah so apparently everybody got sunburnt whereas I just got slightly tanned. Lucky me. today I went to church then I saw all the girls' faces so red =) so i called grace tomato face. haha. tommorow schools starting. okay maybe I shouldn't have looked forward to it >.<

2008-06-18T20:23:00.000-07:00

school's starting in 4 more days. woo end of boringness and the start of homework-craze plus mugging mania. Yeah as if i'll mug or do homework so it dosen't matter anyway >.<.

2008-04-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

BBALL WAS FUN

2008-04-12T09:03:00.001-07:00

I should have went for HSK. Then it'll be the third time perhaps. xD haha

2008-04-10T06:39:00.000-07:00

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk

3 old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three"? "274" was his reply. The doctor says to the second man "It's your turn. What is three times three"? "Tuesday" replys the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "OK, Your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine" says the third man. "That's great" says the doctor. "How did you get that"? "Simple" says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday".

Why was the Tomato blushing? Because he saw the salad dressing.

What do John the Baptist & Winnie the Pooh have in common? Their middle name.

Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book? They all have phones

What's brown and sticky? A stick

Why do they put bells on cows? Because their horns don't work

How do you turn a cat into a dog? You tie up the cat, pour gasoline on it, light a match and watch him go WOOF!!!! How do you turn a dog into a cat? You tie up the dog, getan electric saw to cut him, and watch him go MEOWWWWW!!!!!!

This was a conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in late 1995.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

_____________________________________________________

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2004 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$60,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you too."

The man hangs up.
The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

_______________________________________________________________

Conversation Between Moses and God

"Excuse me, sir."

"Is that you again, Moses?"

"I'm afraid it is, sir."

"What is it this time, Moses. More computer problems?"

"How did you guess?"

"I don't have to guess, Moses. Remember?"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot."

"Tell me what you want, Moses."

"But you already know. Remember?"

"Moses!"

"Sorry, sir."

"Well, go ahead, Moses. Spit it out!"

"Well, I have a question, sir. You know those ten things you sent me."

"You mean the commandments, Moses?"

"That's it. I was wondering if they were important."

"What do you mean 'were important', Moses? Of course, they are important. Otherwise I wouldn't have sent them to you."

"Well, sorry, but I lost them. I could say the dog ate them, but of course you would see right through that."

"What do you mean 'you lost them'! Are you trying to tell me you didn't save them, Moses?"

"No, sir. I forgot."

"Well, My Son always saves, Moses."

"Yeah, I know. You told me that before. I was going to, but I forgot. I did send them to some people before I lost them though."

"And did you hear back from any of them?"

"You already know I did. What about the one guy who said he never uses 'shalt not'. Can he change the words a little bit?"

"Yes, Moses. As long as he doesn't change the meaning."

"And what about the guy who thought your stance was a little harsh and recommended calling them the Ten Suggestions or letting people pick one or two to try for a while?"

"Moses, I'll act like I didn't hear that."

"I think that means, 'no'. Well, what about the guy who said I was scamming him?"

"I think that is spamming, Moses."

"Oh, yeah. I emailed him back and told him I don't even eat that stuff and I have no idea how you can send it to someone through a computer."

"And what he did say?"

"You know what he said. He used Your name in vain. You don't think he might have sent me one of those plagues and that's the reason I lost those ten things, do you?"

"They're called viruses, Moses."

"Whatever! This computer stuff is just too much for me. Can we just go back to those stone tablets? It was hard on my back taking them out and reading them each day, but I never lost them."

"We'll do it the new way, Moses."

"I was afraid you would say that, sir."

"Moses, what did I tell you to do if you messed up?"

"You told me to hold up this rat and stretch it out toward the computer."

"It's a mouse, Moses. Mouse! Mouse! And did you do that?"

"No, I decided to try the technical support first. After all, who knows more about this stuff than you, and I really like your hours. By the way, sir, did Noah have two of these mice on the ark?"

"No, Moses."

"One other thing. Why didn't you name them frogs instead of mice, because didn't you tell me the thing they sit on is a pad?"

"I didn't name them, Moses. Man did, and you can call yours a frog if you want to."

"Oh, that explains it. Kind of like Adam, huh, sir? I bet some woman told him to call it a mouse. After all, wasn't it a woman who named one of the computers Apple?"

"Say goodnight, Moses."

"Wait a minute, sir. I am stretching out the mouse and it seems to be working. Yes, a couple of the ten things have come back."

"Which ones are they, Moses?"

"Let's see. 'Thou shalt not steal from any grave an image' and 'Thou shalt not uncover thy neighbor's wife.'"

"Turn the computer off, Moses. I'm sending you another set of stone tablets. How does 'same day air' sound?"

2008-04-10T06:11:00.000-07:00

Blogging for simply the novelty of this date.

2008-04-06T04:46:00.000-07:00

2008-04-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

cheer up.

2008-04-03T05:46:00.000-07:00

Everytime I go to school, i think of you.
Every day in school you never fail you remind me with a stack of love notes that never fail to make my eyes go wide.
Everyday you come out with an interesting topic that entices me so much that my eyelids strain to open.
Everyday when I think of you, I defy physics and gravity for you to keep myself awake.
Everytime I go to school, you come out with some obstacles for me to prove my love for you
Everyday I realise, you might never be mine
Everyday I go to school, I always fail in my love for you at the end of every term

But being the friendly, understanding, caring and kind you,

you never fail to give me another chance,
in which I always promise never to fail
just to prove myself wrong again.

I love you math.

So much that the essay before this was probably written for you.

Probably more?

Your love notes stacks. Literally. Especially the day before I have to prove my love for you amongst the set of trials and obstacles you set for me.

2008-03-30T05:52:00.000-07:00

Love in first sight has been disputed for many years. Critics have argued that it isn’t possible, whereas romantic lovebirds state that it is entirely possible. Well the truth is, one can never tell.

I first met her in primary six. Us childish boys, having totally chauvinistic ideals typical of boys our age, had set a new record in managing to make a grand total of seventeen girls glaring at us after then end of the first three periods. While my friends were busy hurling insults at the girls in the canteen, I took my first glance at her. I thought she was pretty impressive, deflecting their insults with unwavering calmness.

I never knew when Cupid hit me. But from that day onwards, every deed of mine had an ulterior motive, which was for her. Being the class chairman, I had the entire class seating rearranged, in order to have the “prime seat”, which was beside her. She was an all rounder, in music, sports, academics and sports. I finally appreciated my mother forcing me to practice the piano for an hour a day, in primary school where all my classmates were gaming fanatics. Because of that, I had an advantage amongst the many boys who formed her fan club. Perhaps it was fate, maybe it wasn’t, but our academics were of similar standard, and we both did well, and made it into our respective dream schools. We had many things in common besides, and that gave me an edge over my competitors. Both of us played the piano fairly well, and the fact that we played the same sport was a bonus. Things we didn’t have in common I made up for by spending time trying to pick up. She was good in art, whereas I was rubbish at it, drawing a rabbit that looked like a snake and vice versa. In order to grasp her attention, I signed up for art lessons twice weekly, and soon my drawings and sketches were presentable enough.

I finally gathered up enough guts to blurt out the phrase that confirmed us both. We were in secondary two then, and we realized we both had the same interests at heart. I would have regretted not taken the chance if I never did so then. She was still unattached, and she certainly had grown prettier since primary school. Perhaps I had loved her at first sight, but I certainly loved her more with each sight. It was her innocence that attracted me. I disliked bimbotic girls who had enough relationships to fill up a telephone book, and despised those who changed boyfriends on a weekly basis. She was different from them, with a character that earned my respect. To put it simply, we were inseparable. I had my flaws, but she accepted them. I could be a real flirt at times, and it was only by her grace that she never got jealous. It was only after I matured in secondary four that I appreciated her even more.

We both ended up in the same college, where unsurprisingly she was an immediate hit with the senior boys, with her dazzling looks. I felt unworthy of her, yet she never let me down, always pushing away the other boys’ attention with a firm smile. It was only then that I knew.

I wanted her.

2008-03-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

Today I went Tohyi there to play basketball. There was a tournament thingy and me and Edwin were paired in the same team for two matches. We won both 11-4, 11-2. XD Thanks to Edwin the brilliant point guard i scored 10 points in both matches. However in the last match Edwin was against me, thus I had to score more carefully, cause I didn't have any assisters. If only Gideon was there. Heh but still we won it 11-2. I scored all 11. -.- Lucky me. Eh but again basketball is about teamplay so I didn't solo. Unlike some dudes who chiong solo and miss. *hints at jiegang*

Then I proceeded to school for Chinese Orchestra performance at night. We were about to start playing, after the emcees introduced us, when an young and flamboyant man, the opposite, beat us to the audience by sprinting on his adrenaline streaked tanned legs, and proceeded to give a 15 minute speech extremely fluently in both English and Chinese. I am extremely sure the audience understood his speech, entitled "my rumblings and mutterings" as even the Cello bass section behind him were so enthralled by his speech they fell asleep. The performance was good and due to some highly explosive chemical concoction, I am forced to end this post prematurely as the concoction is threatening to result in a nuclear fission triggering the end of the world, or simply fall into an anti climatic ending, sleep.

2008-03-13T01:14:00.001-07:00

noh ss!w !

2008-03-01T07:32:00.000-08:00

I played for the first time with bloodseeker. for those people who don't know what i'm talking about, blood seeker is a retard who casts a spell on you caled " rupture", and that spells does damage to you if you run. So guess what, my friend ruptured my hero in the game, and smart me decides to make a sprint for it back to my base. :S I didn't err, survive the run.

A small boy went to the counter to pay for his lunch but he was a little short.
Soldiers in plays like to Shakespeares.
An auctioneer often looks forbidding.
A butcher shop opened on the 10th floor. The steaks were high.
We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply. ( I FIND THIS EXCEPTIONALLY TRUE)
What do you call a arrogant fugitive falling from a building? Condescending.
The two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged.

haha oh and cross country run was fun, I was damn extra and ran the ran twice. :P The first race was competitive running, and the second race was just the mass run. Ah the first race i completed in 14 mins, then the cross country people settled it in 10mins . haha then I went to run in the mass run, zzzz but was quite tired already by then. finished at about the same time, just that i finished one of the fastest cause mass run is slack. yeah and st nicks girls err, aren't as fast in running :P. AHAHA BUT WHERE WERE THE ORTUS PEOPLE APART FROM JORDY AND SHIH HONG? :P i tot someone said he would own me :D

2008-02-29T20:33:00.001-08:00

Sabbaticals next week!!! Representing Singapore haha.

2008-02-21T07:33:00.000-08:00

2008-02-16T00:18:00.000-08:00

Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
Bush: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
Bush: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
Bush: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
Bush: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
Bush: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
Bush: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
Bush: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
Bush: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
Bush: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.
Condi: That's correct.
Bush: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
Bush: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
Bush: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
Bush: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
Bush: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
Bush: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
Bush: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
Bush: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
Bush: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
Bush: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
Bush: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
Bush: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get
Chinese food in the Middle East?

2008-02-15T05:19:00.000-08:00

CO performance was good. I really think so. By the rate we perform like that, GWH won't be a problem! Jiayou HCICO!.

And I really have to say. I'm bloody damn smart la. I just screwed myself this year cause now i have:

1. MPP
2. HSSRP
3. Greenwave
4. Voices of Humanities
5. MUN
6. ASEAN Summit
7. VJC Humanities Quiz

GUYS REMEMBER TO READ THE OBITUARIES!

2008-02-10T05:26:00.000-08:00

A picture speaks a thousand words. In the case i would rather not see the words thankyoverymuch

2008-02-09T05:11:00.000-08:00

NO EMOING DURING CNY

2008-02-08T23:09:00.001-08:00

GSCE 'O' LevelsHokkien Exam Paper

Instructions:
1. Read the passage carefully
2. Grade yourself with the grading system at the end of the passage after reading.
3. Not that difficult, chin chai do lah!

Section A: Orrler Exeminetion (60 marks)

Question:Singalella why become rich ?

Koo zhar wu chee ay char bor kia, Singalella.She got two sisters, but the stepmarder and the sisters all damn kuai-lan, so she quite zhia-lat oso.

Last time Singalella got own maid, but now she become the amah.Everyday must cook lah, clean lah, simi sai mah bao-kah-liao.

If her sister say liak kar zhuak, she liak.Tak jit zho kah tau-hin.

CPF poon boh.

But then, kay piak eh ah-pek got one son call Ah Ming got party.

So he say, "oeh, long chong lai ah."Singalella very happy because she never go party before but then her step-marder say, "Lee Mana eh-sai kee, this one bahru lu eh sisters wu standard."Then Singalella must zho sui-sui for her sisters and step-marder.

Tap pai how, buay zhia, buay koon and buay pang-sai.

That night she only can wave bye bye and then she go back to the kitchen and cook Maggi mee.

Her neighbour came over and ask, "Eh, an-zhua lu boh kee party?"

So Singaalella kong, "I-wan, lau-bu kong buay-sai, so boh pian."She never expect but the neighbour say, "Aiyah, kee lah, I give you money."

So singalella brush teef and zhang-zhui, chen-kor, after that look very different.She quickly run to opposite of the beh-chia-lor, already 11 o'clock.

At the party, Ah Ming also quite sian because the char bor all boh sui one.Dance floor even got one ah pek dancing.

Just as Ah Ming told himself, "Aiyah see-pay zhia-lat", Singalella came in.Ah Ming straight away lau nuar.

"Wah-lau eh, see-pay heng ah, chee kor buay pai."Ah Ming say to Singalella, "eh, sui eh, wah ai kah lee zho flen!"Singalella say ok but Ah Ming like octopus, touch here touch there.

But then just it was 12 o'clock, one ah pek die on the dance floor.He become ghost and tell Singalella all the good 4D number.

So after that Singalella quickly go and buy 4D, and then tiok tau-pio, zhit-pak ban.So she pay back the kay-piak eh lau-kay-poh and then kah kee cho sen-lee.

Simi kuan eh sen-lee wah mana eh zhai.

Section B: Grades - Gauge Your command of Hokkien.....
A1. Can understand the story and pronounce Hokkien correctly.Hokkien eh sai, bo beh zao.
A2. Can understand half story and/or cannot pronounce Hokkien properly.zhia lat
E8. Don't understand story and/or catch no ball.

leow leow, mai ka lang kong you is Hokkien Singabolean
F9. Don't understand rating.

kee see lah, wah mana eh zhai lee kong simi?

2008-02-07T06:51:00.000-08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE

gong xi fa cai, hong bao na lai

THE BELOW IS ONLY FOR DOTA FREAKS. WHICH EXCLUDES ME.

Your momma's so fat, she can eat the World Tree with an Ancient Tango.
Your momma's so fat, she uses the enemy's Fountain as a water cooler.
Your momma's so fat, if Visage made a Revenant from her dead body, it wouldn't be able to fly.
Your momma's so fat, she buys Animal Couriers and eats them.
Your momma's so fat, she cut her nipple off and sold it as a Heart of Tarrasque.
Your momma's so fat, whenever Pudge throws a Meat Hook, it hits her no matter where she is.
Your momma's so fat, that when Pudge kills her, he gains like 10000 strength from Flesh Heap.
Your momma's so fat, an Epicenter occurs whenever Tiny Tosses her.
Your momma's so fat, she makes Slardar look like a rubber ducky beside her.
Your momma's so fat, her Fountain is a Burger King restaurant.
Your momma's so fat, Earthshaker would kill himself if he casted Echo Slam beside her.

Your momma's so ugly, any hero within 500 AOE of her gets Doomed instantly.
Your momma's so ugly, I'd turn gay and screw Pudge in the ass instead of her.
Your momma's so ugly, Rot would become a passive ability if she was Pudge.
Your momma's so ugly, IceFrog turned into a tadpole when he saw her.
Your momma's so ugly, pieces of her ass can be used as Blademails.
Your momma is so dumb that when you look at her stats and saw the int you will see: int: what int?!

- Your mom is so fat, she needs observer wards on her ass.
- Your mom is so fat, when she blink strikes, its gg.
- Your mom is so fat, when she spreads her legs, 'An Ancient Hydra has just spawned for the Sentinel.'
- Your mom is so fat, when she jumps for joy, it produces 10 pulses of 110 damage with a 400 AoE.
- Your mom is so fat, her nipples gives a 17% chance to bash enemies with additional 2.2x critical damage.
Your mom is so fat, if you cast battle hunger on her, she dies.
- Your mom is so fat, she keeps Snickers in her inventory.
- Your mom's teeth is so yellow, when she opens her mouth, it deals 100dmg per second.
- Your mom is so fat, her attack does 4x normal dmg.
- Your mom is so fat, her boots cost 6000 gold.
- Your mom is so fat, her ass has its own orb effect.
- Your mom is so fat, she can farm 6 divines in 12 seconds.
- Your mom is so dumb, when she got a guinsoo, her mana pool was 2.6.
- Your mom is so fat, when she was born, she had more HP than Roshan.
- Your mom is so fat, she couldn't evade with 6 butterflies.
- Your mom is so fat, when she windwalks, her toe goes invisible.
- Your mom is so ugly, Bounty Hunter dumped her for naix.

2008-02-05T05:49:00.000-08:00

Muggers love too! Muggers are humans too. They have feelings...like love. But how do they express themselves? Being buried in books all day long doesn't exactly make you a great at interpersonal relationships. Maybe this is how they do it...

GP Mugger
"This speech will seek to prove that I love you.
Since I met you, [background info]
[Supporting view e.g. Fate brought us together]
[Examples e.g. I see you everyday in class]
[Link back to thesis statement e.g. Therefore I love you]

[Repeat for 2 more SVs]

[Opposing view e.g. Some may say that because we are in the same class I will see you everyday]
[Rebuttal e.g. but we take the same bus everyday, so I think it is fate]
[Link back e.g. therefore they are wrong and I love you.]

[Repeat for one more OV]

[Conclusion e.g. Therefore with the above points, I can only conclude that I love you.]"

Math Mugger
"I will now prove that You+Me=Happiness is true for all values of You and Me are real. Thus, by integration [integrate]You+Me=Happiness equals LOVE+C where c is a constant defined by how much you love me too. ^^"

Chem Mugger
"I think we have chemistry between us. Look! I see sparks! We must be exothermic! Quick! Let's go somewhere cold! By Le Chatelier's Principle, the equilibrum position will proceed to the right and the concentration of products, love, will be more than the concentration of reactants, friends." [It's a classic.]
-other party faints-

Physics Mugger
Drops expertly weighted safe on other party such that other party is knocked out but not dead, and grabs them. Then using calculations with a pendulum, grabs other party and swings to another building with rope to escape.

Bio Mugger
[You do NOT want to know what they say.]
Rather, I'm not allowed to say. =D

Geog Mugger
"I will climb to Everest,
I will swim into the Mariana Trench
I will dive into a supervolcano
I will tear apart tectonic plates
For you. =]"

KI Mugger
"What is love?"

Econs Mugger
"I love you. Ceteris Paribus."

2008-02-01T06:33:00.001-08:00

Rape is an instinctively appalling word. However, add a “marital” in front of it and the phrase instantly becomes less so and may even appear self-contradictory at ﬁrst sight. The reason behind this lack of chemistry between the two words is simply that most people will not expect the latter to happen in the context of the former.

The foundation of a marriage is consensual love and it is counter-intuitive when this does not translate into consensual sex between spouses. It is the assumption of the current law that the long arms of the law should not reach into the closed doors of the bedroom.

Under Section 375 of the Penal Code, a man cannot be penalised for forcing himself onto his wife although the same act by a stranger would have made him a criminal. The immunity to marital rape originated from eighteenth century England but was subsequently abolished in 1991. Now Singapore has played catch-up but only after more than a decade and making only a partial attempt in removing the legal immunity for marital rape.

The amendment to Section 375 of the Penal Code states that no man shall be guilty of an offence against his wife, who is not under 13 years of age, except where there was an injunction, a court order or the spouses were living apart.

The stark fact of the partial abolishment is that it would only protect the women who have ﬁled for a divorce or applied for a protection order from the court. In this way the law effectively protects those who need the protection least as most of the victims who suffer from sexual abuse by their husbands are either weak, ﬁnancially dependent, worried about their children or simply do not have the means to apply for an injunction.

Further, the proposed change does not address the root problem of immunity against rape but rather renders it masked in a narrower sense. The main argument against the presumed conjugal rights of the husband is that marital rape is no different from rape that is normally criminalised. Victims of martial rape can be equally or even more traumatised due to the daily fear and a greater sense of betrayal. By instituting that women take a proactive stance in order for them to be protected by the law would be as good as saying that one needs to pay before he can prevent himself from being slapped.

Our Asian values may deﬁne our traditional notions of marriage but should not be an immunity shield for abusive husbands. A fear of ﬂoodgates opening once the exemption for the husband is totally removed is unfounded since charges of martial rape is rare given the difﬁculties for the wife. When violence and coercion set in and the aggressor becomes no more than a stranger, presumed consent is as meaningless as it can get.

2008-01-30T04:19:00.000-08:00

Mr Kong is a great teacher. He teaches us basic PSLE style science questions, and from there, he evolves the questions into those of A and O level standard. How nice of him. I just can't wait to sit for my Chemistry test.

Interesting things

History teacher : who is Lee Kuan Yew's sister?
Me: I KNOW!
History teacher : yes joshua?
Me: Kuan Yin!!!
History teacher: -.-

Teacher: I hope you all have done your essays!
Me: Huh what essay?
Teacher: -.-

Me to Yingsheng: eh damn my leg still damn pain ( fell down and cut it)
P.E teacher : (starts rambling about the route we take for our 2.4 run)
Me: *Listening*
P.E teacher : Okay who understood what i was talking about!
Me: (stupidly) *raised my hand*
P.E teacher: Great! you be the front runner!
Me: WTF?! *looks at my leg.* DIE.

2008-01-28T05:47:00.000-08:00

to you know who you are

thanks

and

YOU ROCK XD

2008-01-27T06:48:00.001-08:00

2008-01-24T07:20:00.001-08:00

I typed a whole long post.

Then i pressed Control a

And delete.

You changed too much my friend

Too much that between comprehending you and binomial theorems

I'll pick the latter.

I'm lucky most haven't changed.

If not my math probably get an a1.

To my other friend

You can do it. Big powerhouses are meant to be overthrown, and place your trust in God and everything will be fine.

2008-01-21T04:46:00.001-08:00

ROBOT A says:
youre starting to have typo erros too!
ROBOT A says:
error*

Hahaha i don't have to worry about boring math when i can TRY and multitask on msn. You rock hahahhahaha.

2008-01-20T05:17:00.000-08:00

What Joshua Ng Means

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

LOL. This makes me sound like an angel.

Michelle, wheres the flirty part? HEHE. xD

2008-01-20T05:12:00.000-08:00

HAHAHA. Someone likes this crazy old man. *winks*

As if i don't.

He rocks k.

Don't you dare tell me he dosen't.

hmmph.

Bye.

2008-01-19T05:21:00.000-08:00

You are a persistent flirt

You know that eventually with patience, your girl/guy will cave to your charms. All you have to do is be as available as possible until that day comes. You are very smart because you�ve already learned that you can have anything with just a little persistence.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

"Intellectually" Intelligent

You're 'Intellectually Intelligent.' That pretty much means that you're good with theoretical ideas and concepts - but this comes to you naturally. More or less, you're a natural brainiac. Good for you.

20% theoretical intelligence
60% natural intelligence

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Hotness

- Hotness is most important in a boyfriend/girlfriend. This indicates that you are mostly into having an attractive partner. You prefer to date around, and don't usually get attached.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

uhoh :/

2008-01-19T04:18:00.001-08:00

My Dad

I'm embarrassed to say my first thought was that of relief when my mother called to say that he was dead. It had been five long years and I was completely exhausted trying to deal with him. Finally, it was over. In the last few weeks, his health had worsened, so I had called the nursing home that Sunday morning and asked the supervisor if I should drive the 130 miles to see him. She said he wasn't doing very well, but that he seemed to have nine lives; one minute he was at death's door, and the next he was sitting in the recreation room having another cigarette. It's a good thing I didn't make the trip, because less than an hour later, my mom called to say it was over.

I remember when I first noticed that there was something wrong with Dad. I lived only about a mile away from my parents, and I walked over a couple of times a week to visit. That particular day as I walked up the driveway toward the back door, he stepped out of the garage and whispered in a secretive voice that he needed to talk to me. He was concerned that his backyard neighbors were growing marijuana behind their garage and he insisted that I come with him to take a look. Their fence was less than a foot away from the back of their garage, and it was apparent to me that there wasn't enough room for them to mow behind it. In the meantime, my brother showed up, and we both assured Dad that having grown up in the 1970s made us somewhat experts on marijuana and this wasn't it; it was just weeds! We thought we'd heard the end of it until my mom called the next day to tell me that he'd gone out during the middle of the night with a flashlight to take clippings off of the offending plants and had taken them to the police department for identification. They assured him they were just weeds, but thanked him for being such a good citizen.

It was a short time later that I remarried and moved 130 miles away. He went downhill really quickly after that. First, he started having minor accidents with the car. He'd back out of the driveway really fast and slam into the car parked across the street. When the neighbors would come out to inspect their damaged car, he'd yell at them for having the nerve to park across from his driveway. Then one day he disappeared at 5:00 a.m. No one had any idea where he was until my sister who lives in a Chicago suburb received a call from the police in Lake Villa Park, Illinois, at midnight. It seems they found him standing outside of his car, completely disoriented. He explained to the police that he was forty years old, and was returning from a fishing trip. He was convinced he was close to home because he noticed that he was on Walnut Street. The only problem is, he lived in Green Bay, Wisconsin. He had been in Illinois for most of the day, blowing through all the tollways without paying, and even stopping for gas and driving off. That was the last straw for my brother; Dad's driving privileges were history.

Through all of this, my mother steadfastly refused to put Dad in a nursing home. Then, one day his health really started deteriorating. He was in the hospital for a heart problem, when a doctor and a social worker spoke to her, finally convincing her that it was time for a nursing home. She couldn't take him back home again. He was at the nursing home about an hour when he got dressed and walked right out the front door, got on a city bus, and headed for the casino. The nursing supervisor was in hot pursuit, finally catching up with him at the bus transfer station. Now, he was off to a locked Alzheimer's home. It was there that his health problems finally got the best of him. All those years of smoking and diabetes and heart problems finally took their toll. I was relieved to know that the stress was finally over. No more phone calls that started with "Guess what he did now?"

After all I'd been through I had forgotten about the real man that was my father. He had been retired from Procter & Gamble Paper Products for about twelve years at the time of his death. But people who worked for my dad twenty years before he retired came to his wake. "He was the best boss I ever had." "I'll never forget how understanding your dad was when my wife and I had problems. He was so supportive." "Your dad was so much fun; he made work a really nice place to go every day." For hours, the people just kept coming, waiting in line to speak to my family. I could finally reflect on the person he'd been before and put the past five years behind me.

He was the man who had grown up with an alcoholic father and had to get a paper route at a young age to help buy food for his family. He was the man who served as a medic in the U.S. Navy at Pearl Harbor during World War II. He was the man who raised money for United Way every year. He was the man who felt that earning a living would help the disabled feel useful again, so he arranged for them to be paid for repackaging products from Procter & Gamble. He was the man that shoveled snow for all the elderly neighbors and made sure his kids knew better than to accept money for helping someone in need. He worked hard, made a good living, and was a wonderful father and husband.

And it finally occurred me just how lucky I'd been.

2008-01-19T04:16:00.001-08:00

The Courthouse

When we are young, most of us are somewhat naive. We are inherently taught that
good will always triumph over evil. A courthouse is the forum where evil should
be dealt with. But, in reality, this is seldom the case.

The county courthouse looks like a typical courthouse. The courthouse itself
looks like a place where justice is served. It is a Romanesque building, three
stories high, with large pillars in the front. Ivy grows up one side of the
building. The green grass in the courtyard is immaculately kept. The United
States flag flies high above the building. Etched in stone on the front wall of
the courthouse are the words" truth, justice, and liberty." This is a place
where one should feel truly safe.

As I walk inside the cold and quiet building, a young woman is talking with the
circuit court clerk. She is very innocent looking, with blond hair and a petite
figure. She seems to be getting more upset by the second. The young lady finally
erupts, yelling and almost crying. Her ex-husband has not paid her child support
in a month, and she cannot buy diapers for her baby. The clerk tells her that
nobody can do anything about it until he is six months behind in his support.
After five more minutes of intense arguing, the young lady, now engulfed in
tears, leaves. The clerk shrugs and turns around.

The building seems colder upstairs. There almost seems to be a dampness in the
air. Down a corridor there are empty offices and paintings of important looking
people. I recognize two of them as Washington and Jefferson. In between them is
a copy of the constitution. As I read it I chuckle, and wonder if this
government is really what they had in mind.

Farther down the hall I hear voices. The general court is in session. Inside the
courtroom, a scruffy-looking man is in front of the judge. He has been charged
with public intoxication and resisting arrest. He does not seem nervous; he has
probably done this before. I assume he will be put in jail for a little while,
at the least. The judge tells the man that he does not want to see him in court
again. The man assures the judge that he will not be back. With the bang of a
gavel, the judge gives him a five dollar fine, plus court costs. The man
stumbles out of the courtroom already looking half drunk again.

As I walk out of the courtroom, the courthouse seems colder than ever. This is
not a place where truth, justice, and liberty prevail. It is a place of tragedy.
A place where innocent people suffer because of the system, and where guilty
people walk free because of it.

2008-01-18T05:15:00.000-08:00

CO practice was good today, with all the sec 4s finally back, from the Beijing satellite campus. Wooohoo all my seniors are back. yay.

I've still got my panda eyes. And i'm intending to sleep it out today. So I'll screw anyone who makes me go back to school on saturday. I'll even bring black paint and mascara to practice abstract art on that guy's face, so that he'll finally appreciate the stupidness of a panda, and the LMAOness of the stupid gothic look. I don't get whats with the fashion with uber round and black eyes. Cool? yeah just about as nice as a goldfish wearing specs.

Math test. Now Mr. Yeo's gone. *sobs* I think our class really loved him. So next up! Mr Fong. ZZ that means apart from mugging chemistry, i guess math will be next on my agenda judging by the rate Mr Fong teaches.

Back to bed.

2008-01-17T07:13:00.000-08:00

Someone commented about my panda eyes today. What not nice meh? If I'm a panda, at least the China government will protect me since am an panda on two legs.

Nows 11.15pm. I'm sill awake even though my brain is functioning slower than that of Yijing. xD hahaha just kidding. no offence yijing, told you my brain dosen't work nocturnally.

1) Mugging Chinese test
2) Matrices and algebraic manupulations
3) History essays
4) Chemistry WS.

How damn cool. I can't wait for saturday. Reunion dinner? Guess we should all it DOTAian dinner. Why? The answers right in your face. Well if you still don't see it then your brain must be less than mine at half speed xD. GAHH I JUST WANT SLEEP.

Who said i'm a flirt? xD.
I'm so innocent

*runs away to puke*

Sunday got yangqin lesson. and i haven't touched my yangqin.

2008-01-16T02:21:00.000-08:00

Mr Jeffrey Lim is stepping down. :( Please don't retire so early, you rock, and I think you must be the most popular discipline master ever in Singapore. The cheers he receives far exceeds those for Mr. Hon.

Mr Fong is coming back. To be honest I'm not really looking forward to meeting him.

1) I'm maths rep
2) Theres a bloody test next week
3) He isn't as good as Mr. Yeo
4) I don't want to hear his morals of life.

Mr Yeo rocks, I got him to go back to chinese orchestra to see his juniors of at least 5 years. Haha. Apparently he dosen't like Zhan lao shi. I thought Tan Guan Chye was a better option for him to hate :D ooops.

So what do i have.

Two stacks of IHC core readings on the history of singapore to read and summarise
Chinese test revision
Mathematics test revision
MUG CHEM cause of Kong... Chiak.... Wu.
English too. I hate sewage.

Oh and i've been selected to study china history. Great! an extra subject to fail xD.

Moot parliment programme coming up too. I miss 2K. haha.

Yesterday got one sec 1 damn ap. He play basketball for 10 minutes, commit 30 fouls. Brillant guy, totally talented. You block him he ram you then complain no foul. Sigh this type of people only can be taught the hard way. So we brought him to play a full court match + the hcibball team people. HEHEHE. Damn cool, after 30 minutes of playing, ( in his case watching the ball) he was a totally reformed junior.

Moral of the story? Juniors shouldn't kick their seniors butts when playing basketball. haha

2008-01-14T06:48:00.000-08:00

This looks like something from Kah Hows blog xD

1) History essay assignment of developing agriculture. Rise of civilizations, ancient china

2) 4 physics chapters to mug. Reflection, refraction, lenses, SL units.

3) Chemistry acids bases and salts

4) China history studies - Xia dynasty, Zhou, Shang, Qin, Qing, Ming, Yuan. Cultural Revolution

5) Higher chinese, one comprehension, one summary writing

6) Math, mug matrices and algebraic manipulations for test. Two assignments given.

7) Pday- high distinction

6) Future problem solving

7) Creative writing programme

8) Yangqin performance in one months time

9) Chinese orchestra administration stuff. Scores and conducting

10) IHE, IHC self research on history of politics, economics, geopolitics.

11) 2.4 must go below 9 minutes. Damn it can be done.

Well i'm back to blogger. Guess i'll be sleeping at 1am.

2007-11-05T19:21:00.001-08:00

Yo momma so big, when she bent down to tie her shoes, her face got burnt from re-entry.
Yo momma so flat she's jealous of the wall!
Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints
Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo momma so fat she's taller lying down.
Yo momma so stupid she reckoned a Quarterback was a refund.
Yo momma so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook..
Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
Yo momma so poor when I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong'
Yo momma so greasy her idea of bottled water is the left over oil slime from a bacon, sausage and egg fry up.
Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo momma so fat every time she turns around it's her birthday again.
Yo momma so fat when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.
Yo momma so poor the building society repossessed her cardboard box.
Yo momma so fat NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer.
Yo momma so ugly she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt.
Yo momma so fat she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo momma so fat she needs a map to find her butt.
Yo momma so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Yo momma so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
Yo momma so stupid she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.
Yo momma's neck so strong she can gargle peanut butter.
Yo momma so stupid she fell up the stairs.
Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo momma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her.
Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shootout.
Yo momma so fat she make Olympic Sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

Not for any mothers to read ooops.

2007-11-05T05:28:00.000-08:00

Nowadays the teachers in CO are competiting for the prestigious annual most boring teacher prize. Due to the small amount of places allocated, only the cream of crop gets on the nominee roll. WHOOPS!

First up!
Ng Boon Chye. A nice conductor. He has excellent skills at calming down people and putting them into a hypnotic state. Average humans fall into a coma upon encountering such a conductor. Music produced? Trance-like new age.- Due to the sleepiness produced.
Need meditation treatment? This man is perfect for you.

Second!
Chu He. Tired of the quietness? Well, after meeting Chu He, you'll learn to embrace the true beauty of SILENCE. Ever tried a science experiment of wave frequencies? Well all the radio stations added together, and squared by ten gives you....CrapChu He FM. An alternative treatment to hyperactivity, this treatment is not advisory till further research as such treatment sends patients into the deepest levels of depression. Such treatment is also recommended for homosexuals, especially male gays looking for a counterpart.

Results of both treatments.
A bookworm. Throughout their long reign of the past two weeks, I've turned into a total bookworm during orchestra practice, reading books to save myself from total insanitiy.

Please bring more watches if you would like to come for orchestra practice. During practice, you'll stare at your watches and handphones so much that your eyes will bore holes through them.

Oh and holiday is very depriving. I don't get to play basketball everyday. I think I'm turning whiter from the lack of a good sun tan. So I've gone jogging every day. HEH 5km every morning or afternoon OR night. So I think next year I won't have problems with my 2.4km eh? Okay nows for the chinups....

2007-11-05T03:18:00.000-08:00

A picture tells a thousand words. Or in this case. Millions

2007-11-03T03:31:00.001-07:00

HAHA the crappiest love calculator ever. But it really works, hahaha I don't believe this.
http://www.crushcalculator.com/content/love/933729261

2007-10-28T19:44:00.000-07:00

Holidays are here at last. And I decided to stop my lazy hiatus. Guess how long will it take for people to start coming back here?

Its going to be quite busy soon, with orchestra practices, and preparation for Mr. Hons's nice and new curriculum next year. I've got to really work hard for next year term 1. So I guess I'll end up in 3I or 3J first. As Ms. Huang said, this is simply a huge elitist programme and I cannot believe Mr Hon introduced it. Imitating the JCs and Universities? Centre for scholastic excellence, or is it centre for spastic excellence? In a few more months, we shall see the results of such a new program.

We won the FOSH basketball championships! We gave the opposite teams a licking! Thanks to Gideon, Xuan Ler, Adam, Jiegang, Chen Xu. Lol I feel useless as a captain with such good members. haha

2007-10-28T19:43:00.000-07:00

End of Secondary Two. End of 2K.

2007-09-20T05:54:00.000-07:00

1. the person who tagged you is:
jasselyn

2. the relation with him/her is:
friend

3. 5 impressions you have of him/her:
(a) friendly, nice
(b) sporty
(c) lives in woodlands, aiya marsiling is the same
(d) loves CO
(e) great character

4. the most memorable thing he/she has done for you:
helped me tie waterbombs

5. the most memorable words he/she has said to you:
D:

6. if he/she becomes your lover, you will:
get a cardiac arrest

7. if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be:
great enough

8. if he/she becomes your enemy, you will:
1) make up 2) make up 3) make up 4) buy my coffin

9. if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
how i know why.

10. the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is:
good luck for EOYS!

11. your overall impression of him/her is:
a great friend who rocks/stones/pebbles/nuts

2007-09-20T04:49:00.001-07:00

Drumset rocks.

Today was a slack day. First two periods Kent didn't come. So we self- studied. Recess after that. Followed by three periods of assembly. Then another recess then finally the first lesson of the day. Double English. Then guess what! School was over. HEHEHE

Tommorow I predict I'll fall ill with terminal cancer, heart attack, cardio respiratory problem, and amnesia. So I cannot go and i'll forget about AAR due to amnesia. =D

2007-09-20T04:48:00.001-07:00

1. the person who tagged you is:
yijing

2. the relation with him/her is:
batchmate, classmate, CO mate, mate, maid =D

3. 5 impressions you have of him/her:
(a)friendly
(b)abit emo ^^
(c)duel master pro, last time was magic pro
(d)CO lover
(e)likes to go into hiatus to mug for eoys

4. the most memorable thing he/she has done for you:
saved my decks from my dad. XD

5. the most memorable words he/she has said to you:
err i cannot remember any

6. if he/she becomes your lover, you will:
he already is

7. if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be:
nothing!

8. if he/she becomes your enemy, you will:
make up with him la! lol

9. if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be:
i pissed him off 30% 70% is he pissed himself off XD

10. the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is:
get into same class as him next year

11. your overall impression of him/her is:
you rock

2007-09-19T04:53:00.000-07:00

Answer the following questions.
1. The person who tagged you is?
Nicole
2. Your relationship with her is?
Friends

3. Your 5 impressions of her

-bubbly
-anti- social... NOT
-wants AAR too
-Mapler
-CO lover xD

4. Most memorable thing she have done for you?
- HMMMMM. HMMMM made me cheerful? as if i'm not cheerful enough :D

5. Most memorable words they have said to you?
- quotes, " I'm ANTISOCIAL!!"

6. If they become your lover, you will?
- errr go gay =D

7. If she becomes your lover, things she has to improve on will be?
- stay the same OMG THAT SOUNDS WRONG.

8. If they becomes your enemy, you will?
- heh a cheerful enemy. God said love your enemies

9. If they becomes your enemy the reason will be?
- i cannot think of any reason

10. The most desired thing you want to do for her would be?
- level up her maple account :D HAHA

11. Overall impression of them?
- Great friend too.

2007-09-19T04:49:00.001-07:00

Answer the following questions.
1. The person who tagged you is?
Vianne

2. Your relationship with her is?
Friends

3. Your 5 impressions of her
impressions? i dont have impressions.
-can pass jap in one week
-need 1.5 hours of sleep
-wants AAR
-ask me to do this quiz on her =D
-CO lover

4. Most memorable thing she have done for you?
- played basketball with US.

5. Most memorable words they have said to you?
- *blink* quotes, " GO FOR AAR!"

6. If they become your lover, you will?
- become a nun

7. If she becomes your lover, things she has to improve on will be?
- don't want her to improve xD

8. If they becomes your enemy, you will?
- not another one la

9. If they becomes your enemy the reason will be?
- i suan her

10. The most desired thing you want to do for her would be?
- make her cheerful and non emo

11. Overall impression of them?
- Great friend. :P

2007-09-19T04:40:00.001-07:00

Answer the following questions.
1. The person who tagged you is?
Justin

2. Your relationship with him is?
Friends

3. Your 5 impressions of her
impressions?
-mugger
-emo
-lover of !@$!@%
-not bitchy
-cool -.-

4. Most memorable thing he have done for you?
- he followed me to DOTA

5. Most memorable words they have said to you?
- a one to two hour speech. which part would you like?

6. If they become your lover, you will?
- go emo like him

7. If she becomes your lover, things he has to improve on will be?
- be less emo

8. If they becomes your enemy, you will?
- snigger XD one more enemy for justin

9. If they becomes your enemy the reason will be?
- he too emo

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him would be?
- teach him the skill of summarising his speeches

11. Overall impression of them?
- COOL EMO!

17. Pass this quiz to 10 people to know what they feel about you.
1 - Nicole
2- Justin
3 - Yijing
4 - Jasselyn
5 - Ameila
6 - Vianne
7 - Willie
8 - Wangchi
9 - Songsim
10 - Yubo

Who is no6 having a relationship with?
- i know. you would like me to say? :D

is no9 a male or female?
- Somewhere in between

if no7 and no10 are together, will it be a good thing?
- OH YES

how about 8 and 5?
- not really. not as nice as 7 and 10

what is no2 studying about?
- Emo for dummies

when was the last you talked to no3?
- today

what kind of music does no.8 like?
- chinese pop

does no1 have any siblings?
- ya

will you woo no3?
- i'm doing so already

how about no7?
- him too

is no 4 single?
- hmmm thats suspicious

whats the surname of number 5!
- Chia

surname of no 10?
- Zhang

hobby of no.4?
- golf XD

do no5 and no9 get along?
- i don't wanna know =D

where does no2 study at?
- nanyang... eh hwachong

talk something casually about no1?
- Miss Cool

have you tried developing feelings about no8?
- wangchi is my nightmare

where does no9 live?
- in the chinese orchestra practice hall

are no5 and 1 best friends?
- Don't know each other

does no7 like no2?
- should me

how you get to know no2?
- through 2 hour lectures

does no1 have any pets?
- dunno

is no7 the sexiest person in the world?
- She has got the sexiest body, the hottest face, and slender legs. of course!

2007-09-17T07:14:00.000-07:00

When will this end? This period of torture, where everyone stress levels and mugging skills are wonderfully displayed like a peacocks feathers during mating season. I want humanities, and screw you if you think i cannot get it. Its all a matter of working hard.... but working hard is hard........

I don't want CO anymore. I want maths, maths, maths, i love CO... yet I want to quit. Weird... is this emo? I don't think so, my wrist isn't slashed yet with a lock of hair covering half my face like a banana leaf.

What happened to you? Looks like your senses got the better of you? Betraying your schoolmates, EP3 mates and comm mates. Just for a @#$%. WOW. I applaud your rational thinking. Now whats next? Let me tell you. Stop messing about before i hate you.

2007-09-15T00:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday some backdoor program downloaded a trojan horse into my com. Thanks! Just when I needed to use the com!! GRR so i spent the night fighting it with two anti virus programs, and only today that i destroyed it!! yay.

Now back to msning and mugging

2007-09-13T07:14:00.001-07:00

I miss MAF

2007-09-13T07:11:00.003-07:00

You Are 24 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

2007-09-13T02:33:00.001-07:00

Today a blackout occured in our school. So we went for one period without any electricity at all. And guess what, our first period was INFOCOMM STUDIES. WOW, so we could sit in front of blank computers while the techies scramble around frantically to restore power. GAH I was hoping that they would give us a holiday and let us go home. Unlike St Nicks our techies don't give up. However, we were made to sit at the mini terraces for lessons. omg man outdoor lessons. XD However after 50 minutes, the lights and fans suddenly flashed back on. Then the school was in a scramble to get back into the buildings.( Everyone was having outdoor lessons, at the bastketball court and elsewhere.) Yeah so at 8.50 am school began normally.

The stress and tension is slowly building up for exams. Every single one of my classmates have started mugging. Well me too ^^. Er, abit of mugging. Just 2% :( Oh and looks like everyone hasn't got enough of MAF eh XD. I really do hope next year we'll do with RGCO again. Nice people. Heh but i'm sick of MAF. Totally. >.< Due to some people.

Bug off :P

Oh and good luck Yubo in learning the acoustic guitar.
Why can't everyone be like Jasselyn! :P Oh and Jasselyn I know how you feel. Haha, i'm feeling it too lol.
Good luck to everyone for their final year examinations.

AAR.... a forgotten hope.

2007-09-11T01:42:00.001-07:00

Hey take a look at tower defence! HAHA

Anyway today was fun and slack, with 3 periods of assembly, but very boring, since we had double chinese periods before that, and assembly was specially conducted in chinese today. Equals to 5 periods of chinese. OH BOY. I've really got to do a flash game and hand it in by this friday. Can I just grade the games? I don't do them but I get to play them.

Anyway my classmate told me there will most probably be IT emergency tommorow. Well if he is right, I shall be laughing at the school, so much for private and secret things. Nevermind i shall stay at home and do ACE. and PLAY at the same time.

Jealous you muggers? haha

2007-09-11T01:40:00.000-07:00

2007-09-10T06:54:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of school, no changes to our teachers, and Oh Ms Ang is back! YAY I think she teaches Maths much better. Chinese was equally boring, no changes, but Augustine is moving to Beijing for two years. Not another friend lost... Augustine we'll wait for you in JC!

Math homework, history homework, chinese ACE, literature ACE, infocomm studies final term project. I'm a busy man

2007-09-09T08:36:00.001-07:00

Today I went to church in the morning, yangqin lesson in the afternoon. Then I thought I was going to an SCO concert, so I went to Turf Club. Everyone was sitting down so I joined them. Then the music started. I was shocked XD IT WAS SSO. I cannot believe I mistook SSO for SCO. Ah but both are equally nice. The concerted ended at 8 plus then I reached home at 9 plus. The music was much nicer than chinese orchestra music, especially the woodwind. The piccolo, flute, clarinet rocks. The bassoons too. The violins sounded like erhus, and the percussion... quite nice. Overall I think what impressed me the most, was the woodwind section. And I noticed lots of "Ang Mohs" in SSO. I do hope that my generation will replace them. Singapore Symphony Orchestra, isn't Singapore International Orchestra, though I must admit, we need the European experience currently.

I made up my mind, I'm going to work really hard for Term 4. 1.0, 1.0. HAHA ok thats not really achievable for a slacker like me. 9.0, 9.0!!!

I still miss MAF. RGCO you seriously rock.

2007-09-08T02:40:00.001-07:00

MAF is over. And i've got to say, it rocked totally. xD I reached school at 7.15am, sat down till about 8 plus outside the practice hall stoning, and getting buried in balloons. Then at 8 plus, MAF offically started, and as part of Mass Games 1, I oversaw the musical sudoku and blah blah blah till about 12. Then I rushed off to serene centre to get gifts for counterparts and friends. When I came back it was just in time for xiao zu, which I also oversaw for a while before going off during dazu to help tie( and use) the waterbombs. It was so hyper.

Then the real action began, and soon everyone was in a frenzy, pitching waterbombs at each other. Well I was guilty too, using about 50 plus of waterbombs as I camped at the shelter where the bombs were kept. Then waterbombs ran out, so me and Jasselyn went to the other end of the field, where it was much safer, to tie new water bombs. While we were there, we saw willie getting ganged by xingzhi, dewei, justin, and lol lots more people. In fact I had wanted to bomb willie too, until I saw that they were hitting willie non- stop, so extra me went to help willie, haha I slammed two water bombs and a pail into Justin, and a lucky far range shot and xingzhi. I saw Vianne and Dewei, but I didn't have the heart to bomb them XD. No one bombs all his friends. Especially later when Dewei got dunked in mud by Justin, Huihua.

After the finale, we were getting EMO outside the practice hall, taking lots of pictures. Especially xingzhi, so it was after a good deal of time wasting and persuation that we got him to play basketball with vianne and dewei and soonghei.
After that I went with Dewei to KAP. Well I imagine that thats the last time I'll see the RGCO comm..... then after spending more time listening and gossiping over there, me, Willie and Jasselyn finally left for home at 9 plus...

I really miss MAF
But I miss the MAF comm even more.

2007-09-03T19:09:00.000-07:00

Recently i''ve been staying up till about 12 - 1 plus. XD I find that studying, mugging and doing work is much easier at night. Provided I don't fall asleep. Hey and I still can wake up QUITE early the next day. LOL

MAF is on Friday, as usual, there will be waterbombing. Joshua NEEDS YOU! xD Any CO member interested in joining me bombing targets are free to tell me. haha. I'll see whether I can sneak to Coronation Plaza during Dazu, should be alright as I'm not playing. Today is the sec 4 farewell.... *sobs* sec 4s don't go! Lucky we're in IP so the sec 4s haven't really graduated xD Bleah.

Yesterday after days and weeks of nagging, I very reluctantly did two things. Update my blog and to do my maths. My maths is currently my weakest subject. Hmm this term my MSG is much better but not as good... thanks to trigo. LOL I forgot to bring a calculator for my maths test.

Thinking back, primary school seems like it was only a few months before. Until I realised, I'm from 6 care 2005. xD LOL

2007-09-03T08:39:00.000-07:00

Teachers day I went back to primary school. A picture speaks a thousand words.

2007-08-26T07:54:00.000-07:00

Last saturday we had MAF meeting with RGCO. Interestingly I was very quiet, Zhikan did the talking. Saved me the salivary amylase too. Got to know the RG Comm, they're nice people. -.- As if who isn't. HOLD ON! DON'T ANSWER ME! Haha. Yeah, the meeting lasted 3 hours? Planning planning planning. Just one more meeting before the actual. >.< How rush can it get.

2007-08-23T03:48:00.001-07:00

Create your own Friend Test here

2007-08-23T03:02:00.001-07:00

Okay, so Ms Huang says I didn't hand in my comprehension 5. Think think think. * blinks* better go find it now. IDS is certainly much more fun than the dumb, stupid and slack financial talk. At least IDS comes with ACE. IDS comes with SSS. Stupid, sleep, sucky.

This saturday got MAF meeting. Its with RGCO for those lagheads who still think we're with St nicks, or the gays who think we're doing with RI or something. Oh and saturday rings a bell for me. Not really a bell, but something between Huang and a P.E teacher coming after me for my OBS fitness form. Screw that.

I've got to mug Physics and Maths, Chinese too. My Maths and Chinese are the best.... in kindergaten. Ok, for now still not the worst, but how can I compare with..... *errhem*

Tommorow there is Chinese Orchestra, and our comductor has come down with chicken pox. Oh, do i feel sorry for him :'( haha

2007-08-21T04:24:00.001-07:00

This week is sabbatical week. And the first day I posted in errr days? no weeks, no months. Haha. Actually for us it isn't sabbaticals. I don't see how a financial talk is a sabbatical. Especially as it involves maths. Well the buying and selling of stocks was all I actually liked to listen and found ear soothing. The compound interest and others gave me a headache so huge I didn't think I could walk out of the class without letting my "bloated" head hit anything. Boring lessons plus boring teacher= Want to sleep but cannot even sleep. Joshua's theorm. Cause you'll get a headache so bad and you're so bored that you cannot even sleep. Great!

Tommorow is the start of IDS. Looking at the timetable, I wish i had my pyjamas on. I could have fell asleep. Maths, humanities, physics. Oh wow. WOW. World of Warcraft.

Talking about that, I've been playing rise of nations for the past two years, and since then I've been training hard. So look at the fruits of reward.

2007-08-01T05:49:00.001-07:00

Lots of homework. Term 3 is stressing. I cannot believe Nanyang is having SABBATICALS now. GRRR. I still have Geography, History, and Literature, plus Infocomm studies and Mathematics again. Plus ACE. And this is just acadamic!

I got back my History paper today. 6/7. xD I love history. World war two rocks. I think I got lots of OP just because I voiced out my thoughts against Mrs Giam's. Well world war two isn't the Germans fault. Its the Nazis. HEH. If Hitler captured the Earth or Globe. He'll have TWO balls. Excluding his eyeballs again.

Performance on Saturday. I don't think we'll play well. We're more like an ensemble. So few people. I guess we shouldn't be lamenting and make do with what we have. But when an external conductor came to conduct today. I felt so ashamed.

Let me go mug Geography now. I don't like long posts. HAHA. Not if I can help it.

2007-07-31T06:04:00.000-07:00

Todays assembly was a joke backfired. I stood to tease Yijing, saying that one of my classmates got caught NINE times for tucking his shirt out. Or in perfect English,leaving his shirt out. Little did I know that Mr Hon was more interested in Nine than Yijing, and made me say a random name. Poor Shawn came into my mind, and poor Shawn came into the mike into Mr Hons view. Sian, stupid Mr Hon made me backstab a good friend. Shawn sorry!

Chinese composition was a waste of time. 2 hours for two compositions. I could have gone home and mugged! ( as if i would) I think I can do quite well for the first composition, about family day, but the second.... is second in all ways. I wrote halfway before realising I had no more good thoughts to pen down. In the end, I think I garbled a lot of crap to fill up two pages. xD

Tommorow is karate, yay.

2007-07-30T06:51:00.000-07:00

My priorities have been rearranged since last year. Come to think of it, its very different.

1) Humanities studies
2) Acadamic Schoolwork
3) Chinese Orchestra
4) Yangqin
5) Piano

hmm top 2 are acadamic whereas the other 3 are asthetic. Ok, number 6 is basketball and number 7 is computer games.
I want to be part of 22nd comm. I want it to rock. We'll make sure 21st was never near us. Not just us, but the entire CO. As I've been trying to tell yichao, CO is Chinese Orchestra, and an Orchestra isn't an orchestra for nothing. An orchestra is a group of people with common interest, to create and bring music to a different level. I pity Zhiyi and Wenhao, according to Justin, they have no easy feat in front of them, with an disillusioned teacher, a demoralised orchestra and a sian conductor. xD. I believe you guys can do it!!! By 2009!

I'll miss Justin after he graduates from high school. Not only Justin, but Harry, Chunyang, Louis, Hwa Pheng, Huihua, Gerald... There'll always be a gap in the orchestra. I love my seniors. Lucky we're IP. So they are still in college. I'll miss the fun times we had together. I still can remember playing soccer with Hong Shen, Koy Min, Zhi Guang, Keng Wei... if only the orchestra now was like then...

We'll make it better than then.

2007-07-30T06:26:00.000-07:00

Have you ever tried handing in a black piece of paper for your answer script? Well I almost did. Chinese has never been my favourite subject. I speak Chinese as often as I fly to Mars. Ok, maybe not that exaggerated. I did manage to do fill up half the answers on the first page. The other half which required memorising... I could practically go blind staring at the glaring white sheet of paper. And tommorows the Chinese Composition Test. Wow, how I look forward to it.

Physics was much better. I like physics more than Chemistry, and especially much more than Biology, regardless of the inclusion of my favourite topics in Biology. xD. Physics was quite easy, I think my class felt it was easy too.

Oh and I've got to do ACE. Yeah, I allocate lots of time for ACE, but everytime I use the computer.... the time allocated hardly seems enough. Not surprising considering the amount of time I spend doing other unessesary things, like blogging.

Lastly... the sad thing is I've got nothing to say. Erm... forget it.
Oh, if you'll really really like to know... Hitler has only one ball. xD Excluding his freaking EYEBALLS.

2007-07-29T05:30:00.001-07:00

I spent my time mugging on the train to NAFA and on the bus back. As if it would make any difference. I cannot absorb anything on buses or trains, or cars, or aeroplanes, or submarines. The lot. I got distracted after 10 minutes after the man next to me started burping like a toad for 10 minutes. I counted 5 burps in 15 seconds. The air around.... pungent. I could smell wisps of half digested curry and whatnot. I didn't dare smell other delicacies he offered.

Well, St Nicks has been chosen as our partners this year. YAY. I cannot fathom why some people didn't like St. Nicks to be our partners. We took Nanyang for so many years, as if we wouldn't meet in JC. I cannot wait to work with SNCO. Prove the 22nd critics wrong that we're inefficient, or too serious. Well with me and willie around, plus dewei and xingzhi, how serious can we get. This year CO will improve. I believe Zhiyi and Wen Hao can do it. we'll not fall like this year anymore. We'll learn from our mistakes, we'll correct them, we'll destroy the rotten parts. xD Maybe to improve morale in the CO, we should hire Joseph Goebbels, propaganda master.

HAHA.

Off to mug physics and chinese.
I cannot wait for MAF too.
And National day

2007-07-27T06:37:00.000-07:00

Finally I passed HTML. I linked! HAH!! I'm looking for more people to link.

Chinese Orchestra was okay today, with the exception of sitting beside Y***** who was practically whacking the drums as loud as possible so he could be heard by the dead and the deaf. I was sittig next to him, staring gloomily at my bag, imagining the amount of work I could have done while sitting there in the huge musical freezer. I learnt trigonometry today. Wow! A different topic to fail eh. xD Nevermind, mathematics isn't up anytime soon, at least not in the next 5 days as I think its the 7th. Playing the xylophone and vibraphone and glockenspiel is superbly demoralising. I cannot even hear myself over the din created by Y*****. I want to go back to yangqin. Actually, I want to go to yangqin. I've never been in the yangqin section in primary and secondary school. Since p2 I was in percussion. Surprise,surprise. HAHA

2007-07-26T22:07:00.000-07:00

Its Infocommunication Studies now, and i'm supposed to be doing my actionscript now xD but I'm slacking off since I completed it. WAHA. Lol later still got chinese orchestra until 6pm. Another 4 hours of boring time. But I'll do trigo there... cosign and blah blah blah.... I cannot really comprehend it. Oh and I still haven'
t practiced yangqin

2007-07-26T06:36:00.000-07:00

Hehe, a brief update. Exam and test week is here, okay almost, so now is TRYING to mug time. Term 3 is important. Good start for physics though, 32/40! A1!!!. But only mock test, GRRR.

Next monday and tuesday I have Chinese Tests, level and class, plus History and Geography somewhere there. Mathematics should be coming soon, plus Physics too.

Still have to practice yangqin and piano everyday, becoming too slack. Oh and my ACE too! Plus chinese orchestra practice... what a waste of time. Ooops, comm better not see that xD. Anyway I got insider news that St Nicks will be our partner this year. Aiyo why not nanyang xD but I don't mind St nicks la.

I love Physics and Chemistry, Biology please get out of my way xD.

I love the stress, yet I cannot cope with it...

2007-07-26T06:24:00.000-07:00

AHA i revived the blog just as it was supposed to die!!! BLEAH I WIN aha!

2007-07-05T05:28:00.001-07:00

After intense demand… I dragged myself back to the keyboard. So, here am I blogging away. Eh, nothing much to blog about le. Can I blog about how I see Jacky waiting for the bus and something else everyday without fail at 2.30pm? Oh should I blog on latest updates of Yi chao’s exploits. I realized that Chao’s, minus the apostrophe, is CHAOS. WAHAA. Chinese Orchestra…. Haven’t seen much changes. The only big change is I don’t see Justin standing up on stage anymore… :’(

Oh and I’m pleased to announce that I’m officially underweight. My heights 1.73 but my weights 50kg. Ohno. I think I lost too much weight. Anyway, for P.E we have Wushu lessons on Wednesday. The stupid P.E teachers organized Karate lessons in the afternoon for CO. Then I’ve got Taekuondo on Sundays. Please la, this is confusing me. Jack of all trades, master of none. But the trainer is very cute xD. Same surname le. ;)

2007-06-22T04:00:00.001-07:00

For most people, when the holidays start, they sprint off to other countries at once. And come back in the middle of the holidays. HAH but I only leave for overseas right at the end of the holidays. XD This week was very interesting. On monday.... which was 4 days ago, I went to the Immigration to renew my passport. Then the officer look at me and the passport, then ask me to renew my FACE also... Cause my picture on the passport was...erm.... 6 years ago? HAHA. Then I was made very late for the CO BBQ because of that. Then I went to Harbourfront, trying to find Laborador Park, which is some ULU place. Finally got there after zillions of calls for help. Then I had to walk 15 minutes through a dense forest in the rain, before any hope of going for the BBQ was in sight.

Ah actually the BBQ wasn't bad. I don't mean the eating. I hate EATING. xD I learnt how to play Bridge. xD HAR and I surprised everyone with my super guai-lan method. HAHA I can't believe it worked! Maybe cause everyone was sleepy or something haha. WALAO but play until 10 plus, then go home 11.50pm. I'm not a nocturnal person. I went home and knocked out immediately. EH maybe not, i think i bathed.

RESULT.

The next day I couldn't wake up!!!! on time. xD So we missed the 8am bus to Genting from JB. EH please la, who goes to JB at 8am.... so we went Kuala Lumpur first. Nothing much to see, only spent money buying bags, clothes and whatnots while trying to find a bus terminal with a bus to Genting. AH we did la, but only after one day. So! I ended up at Genting. Checked in, and started playing. Not at the casino ( too young) but at the theme park. I tried most of the darn lunch-vomiting-dinner-indigestion rides. MOST. I still didn't dare try the cock screwer. REALLY! its called the cock screwer. WAHAHA. If i went for that, I think I would be in hospital with severe heart failure. WALAO I think that roller coaster spends more time upside down- inside out than the usual ones. :( Then I tried the space shot. That retarded machine brought me 6 floors high and dropped me when i wasn't prepared. Sian... the pressure forced my face to the bottom of my seat for 5 seconds plus. GRR couldn't enjoy the SCENERY. haha.

Then I went to play bumper car with the adults. Knock here, knock there, but I liked it. Sadistic me. haha.

Still got lots more things which I played. Sadly my fingers are aching now. Cause I squeezed the handlebars of the rollercoasters too hard, and I typed too much. So... taa daaa!

2007-06-11T01:26:00.001-07:00

The past few days has been pretty fun. Apart from playing Rise of Nations. Me, the no-lifer finally played a browser-based game called combatgrounds. Its quite fun actually, trying to raise your networth and everything. HEHE I'm stronger than I look le, as in my online army la. xD I repulsed 5 attacks, with all my attacks successful!! YEAH!!! Willie introduced me to the game, and took me as his apprentice. But being Anakin Skywalker, and due to his two days of slackness, I overtook him!! HAHA so fun. So lame. DIAO

Anyway, I introduced Myst3ryb0i to the game, and to my utmost surprise, he was even better than Willie and me.

*gasps**faints*

Not fair, so pro. =D

2007-06-06T06:29:00.000-07:00

I finally got a virtual cyber feeling of the emotions the Germans felt when they were fighting the Russians in world war two. The Russians can be described as only one word: STUBBORN
They used their attrition to wear down my army. Don't want to talk about it anymore,
so embarrasing. I had 7 armies, about trice the size of the Russians. Boohoo. Never again will this happen. Hmph.

Today we had CO practice again. Well, since we got a nice new song, it was interesting. Drumset rocks!!! So cool, so in beat, so rocky! Haha. Why everytime I end up playing the same things i did in primary school? I'm still stuck with the Xylophone, glockenspiel and vibraphone. But still, no telephones.

Nanyang organised a CIP activity and now its spreading around like wildfire. The word Nanyang seems to be a bonus for CIP thirsty boys. Including me. I received chain mails asking me to join. HEHE. Lol, but I won't. Council and Orchestra brings in too much CIP that I can probably sell it for a nice tidy sum of profit.

Things I have got to accomplish:

1) Practice yangqin
2) Start revising music theory
3) Mug physics, maths
4) Play hard

HAHA, number 4 comes last.

Not fair, this years campus superstar 2 don't have a Hwa Chong guy, but instead got a girl. Hey I'm not being sexist, but HCI International school dosen't seem to be on good terms with the independant one. So how to support? EEYYEER, can Chee Yang just go sign up again and win it consecutively?? haha, just kidding. Now i don't support anyone :(

2007-06-04T20:30:00.002-07:00

When I was in secondary One, I felt that the CO had lots of spirit. With people like Hong Shen, Keng Whye, Chen Yang, and all the soccer fanatics, the Orchestra mood was superb. The atmosphere rocked. A year later, they left to inspire the College side, and now going for orchestra, although it still is fun, it no longing brings out that temptation in me. Why??? I don't know, but I sure know that if this goes on, there wouldn't be enough left of us to form a ensemble.

For the first time in my life, I disagree with Mr Tan. *gasp* He shouldn't be taking such a stiff rein over the orchestra. He shouldn't be the one picking the songs we play, he shouldn't be the one picking the instructors we have! He is simply a teacher-in-charge, and thats that. Discipline can be his problem, but in terms of music? Oo. nono.

But I still like Mr. Tan xD

2007-06-04T20:30:00.001-07:00

Haha, finally back after a supposedly long hiatus of the art of not blogging. Holidays are...... fun? I should think its relaxing, but fun.. hmph, not really. I don't get to see my friends everyday, and because of my atrocious results which I get EVERY term, so for once I have been mugging for this entire month! GASP. Yeayea its just 5 days into June. xD Anyway obviously I would be itching to play, so I did, as its the holidays, and mugging is a terminal CRIME. So I've been spending SOME of my time playing Rise of Nations, and bombing other nations with my fleet of 40 stealth bombers. HEHE the enemy couldn't do anything. Stealth spells it. HEY but I couldn't destroy the damned Russians, even with 2 of my best Corps against them. Why? Cause my stupid American Allies were at home practicing ISOLATIONISM. How retarded. GRRR

>< I want to go do maths. I can do maths me. =D

2007-05-18T20:33:00.000-07:00

After two years of in-depth research. Professor Josh has finally found out why his MSG always sucks and cannot get below two.

1) Since I came to Hwa Chong, I realised I didn't really have that interest in what I did. I only did things because I had to do them

2) I was no longer easily getting As, and instead getting B and Cs.

So darn demoralising. I hate this.

So I've got two choices. Not much. Either I study hard or i go out of HwaChong. The second choice dosen't really appeal to me. The first choice too, but its still my preference against moving out xD.

I want to stay till JC. I'm not going to be like so many of my schoolmates who silently, transfered out of school. I realised I slack too much. Way too much.

Term 3.... my revenge will come.

2007-05-14T01:55:00.000-07:00

Argh.... one more screwed term. I am so lucky next term is Camp. I think most of my classmates are lucky too. Our class bonded so well, setting new records across Hwa Chong, especially Biology, with a new record high of a MSG 6.7!!

My Geography did me proud. Got an A1 for that. xD My Chinese got a B3! :( Aiyo... then the Literature B4.... how cool... then out pops Biology... with a beautiful F9. I think if there was a G10 and G11 i would have got it easily. Probably a Z48 too... :(

I am now a full time mugger, hehe now SYF is over for Chinese Orchestra and the secondary fours are gone, there's no point going for practices, although thats compulsory. However, I feel that getting kicked out of orchestra is much better than failing secondary two. I'm gonna use that time to TRY and mug.

Mugging is so darn hard. I put the stupid textbook in front of me and within ten seconds I join Alice in wonderland. Please la I want to go back to primary school, at least I got straight As without studying. Come to hwachong, don't study, see what you end up with? A huge mutant MSG.

Most wanted subject improvements
1) Biology
2) Mathematics

This two subjects will be the death of me. Sorry. They ARE the death of me.
I am lucky I didn't flunk Infocommunications, Chinese and Literature. But still didn't excel in them. Now only have my two strongest subjects left, English and History. Don't dare to hope too much. Just don't be a detonator for my fragile MSG hanging on the brink of death.

I wonder how do those mini MSG people always do so well. Yeahyeah good time management. My time seems to be flying at supersonic speed and here I am, wasting my time again typing this post. xD Don't care. Term Three. Term Three will be a different term from last year and the first half of this year. It isn't too late. The final term before the almighty Final Year Examinations. I dread the June holidays too. Intense boredom is predicted.

Nevermind! I am OPTIMISTIC!! RAWR! Darth Vader will be back.... I hope xD

2007-05-02T06:28:00.002-07:00

Aiyo... Biobiobiobiobiobio................. diediediediedie. I not emo. I am very sure. I take steps to prevent the emo virus from entering my already contaminated mind. Friday is the last day of this school week. It also happens to be the last day of my life. Geography and Literature test.... and I think we're going to get back Bio test. HEY U BETTER PUT ME IN THE OBITURIES!!! Don't forget me hor! Sorry la my England is not very best la. HAHA LOL. *Changes to Queen's English*

Joshua Ng
RIP
1993-2007

2007-05-02T06:28:00.001-07:00

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